Benefits Made Me Weigh 23 Stone – REALLY?



So I was going about my business minding my own,

When a large lady appeared in front of me screaming ‘benefits made me 23 Stone,

Im telling you this now because I intend make your  blood boil,

And to cause misguided anger amongst those that toil,

See if YOU didn’t give me this £120.00 a week state benefit,

Then I wouldn’t be addicted to this eating junk shit habit’.

I laughed, ‘you really expect me to take you seriously?,

If I put you in an environment where food was abundantly free,

You reckon you would be strong enough to resist the temptation,

To devour that food into obliteration?’…

She looked at me all muddled and confused,

And whispered ‘im just a sucker for food and find it hard to refuse’.

‘And lets just suppose for one moment the benefits were to blame,

Lets juxstapose that with an equally absurd claim,

That’s just like saying being a politician made Cyril Smith weigh 29 stone and a filthy pedofile,

When its all down to addictive habits like yours while others have ones that are vile.’

‘Now I hope your really proud of your moment in the scum,

Feeding the ignorances of those that are dumb,

Causing distress and demonization to those who are genuinely struggling to make ends meet,

All because you refuse to take responsibility for what and how often you eat’.

Then I looked up at the shopkeeper and said can I have ten b&h silver please,

Pointed at the tabloid and said ‘WHY THE FUCK DO YOU SELL THIS HATE AND SLEAZE’?.

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